They said someone I look up to became inappropriately stimulated by the US/world all the time like they're all that and just "used" me. They think it's an open door for the person to feel like they're better than me. They think this person can't even function if someone wants to sweep, when I used to use them too look up to. I'm not very possessive, but I don't take that, people ruining the person I look up to as punishment and making them seem like a/the "baby." I don't know if the thing about sweeping etc. was just a suggestion, but it came up more than once. What's going on? I didn't do anything, and this happens. This is "unforgivable." ... People are settled down to work on this kind of thing, like it's okay. I'm not bitter at if the person gets hurt because of other people. I can't be upset with them and am not. They may be upset with me, at least pretend. It's hard when I'm attacked to think straight cuz it makes me irritated and it seems to be protocol. Sometimes, it's a weird slip, and that's what they want to announce I'm in trouble. Like, I'll think of a bad word by accident or action and not really exactly but something weird.. It's like they're turning this person into a baby in ways nobody thinks or cares about with themselves. I'm sick of these new sinful fantasies every day, like something happened. People are enacting them out like they're an annoying baby, like they have to be someone you can't look up to. They are secure they are in control of what happens in my life and just coast thru their life. They think they can make up for it, but a lotta lame things are happening, like a man I look up to feeling he has to get stimulated with this woman I look up to, via stimulating them inappropriately. I think he's sorta ruined it. I just thought he was cool, but he's withheld and wakes up to do this.
The people monitoring me in private keep telling me I'm bad when they make me mad like I meant to connect bad thoughts. It's fine if someone is upset they happen to find out. These people are annoying, tho. If it's not all my fault, they helped cause it. Sometimes, often, they treat me like shit like I don't matter. They keep flaring up if they see I was really upset inside when I posted something and have to "tell" to everyone, and I'm always in trouble.
Ellen DeGeneres posted something related to death secretly and I've felt hurt like I almost died. I don't see how that's cute and funny, but she seemed to want it to be, maybe cuz I didn't die. She thinks I should be in trouble mainly cuz I cursed on my blog about hurtful, illegal noises that were in my room for a long time that she supposedly had put there. I still suffer things like this.
I'm tired of the bad news that I see people with deep-seated issues with me, that I did something and am in trouble and it affects me and like I have to fix something or they don't care. I don't endorse those people.