Suck Ups

People keep trying to prove I can get mad by bothering me.

Sad

What if I lose my relationship cuza things like my dad?

Problem

The people monitoring me in private are very annoying because they angered me once recently in the bathroom when I was just thinking about how upset I was, a few bad words coming up, etc.

Problem

Now, I'm mad I've had a problematic relationship for a year, or a good relationship with problems.

Problem

They are getting people involved in bad ways in my relationship, like they have to ruin it a little and test it out for me and then get mad if I get mad.

Issue

They keep trying to make me think of my dad and his oldest younger sister in place of when I think of something else.

Even Them

The people monitoring me in private flash pages at me how they load online like they can lash out at my like this.

Problem

They won't stop!

Problem

They insinuated my only mom was my dad's oldest younger sister.

Problem

My dad is trying to affect my personal life..

Thinks She Got Me

She wouldn't stop pumping energy and made me upset at little things.

Problem

My mom tried to say it was true that the person I look up to gets giddy at things like the broom sweeping just because the US/world started to inappropriately stimulate them all the time.

They are just trying to make things worse.

Key Problems

It shouldn't be about if something like sweeping bothers someone.. or is it?

The Hotel

I ended up showing physical signs of anger.

Problem

They are still at me for what happened at the hotel and making this person seem stimulated inappropriately like they're knocked out each day.

Problems

They said someone I look up to became inappropriately stimulated by the US/world all the time like they're all that and just "used" me.  They think it's an open door for the person to feel like they're better than me.  They think this person can't even function if someone wants to sweep, when I used to use them too look up to.  I'm not very possessive, but I don't take that, people ruining the person I look up to as punishment and making them seem like a/the "baby."  I don't know if the thing about sweeping etc. was just a suggestion, but it came up more than once.  What's going on?  I didn't do anything, and this happens.  This is "unforgivable."  ...  People are settled down to work on this kind of thing, like it's okay.  I'm not bitter at if the person gets hurt because of other people.  I can't be upset with them and am not.  They may be upset with me, at least pretend.  It's hard when I'm attacked to think straight cuz it makes me irritated and it seems to be protocol.  Sometimes, it's a weird slip, and that's what they want to announce I'm in trouble.  Like, I'll think of a bad word by accident or action and not really exactly but something weird..  It's like they're turning this person into a baby in ways nobody thinks or cares about with themselves.  I'm sick of these new sinful fantasies every day, like something happened.  People are enacting them out like they're an annoying baby, like they have to be someone you can't look up to.  They are secure they are in control of what happens in my life and just coast thru their life.  They think they can make up for it, but a lotta lame things are happening, like a man I look up to feeling he has to get stimulated with this woman I look up to, via stimulating them inappropriately.  I think he's sorta ruined it.  I just thought he was cool, but he's withheld and wakes up to do this.

The people monitoring me in private keep telling me I'm bad when they make me mad like I meant to connect bad thoughts.  It's fine if someone is upset they happen to find out.  These people are annoying, tho.  If it's not all my fault, they helped cause it.  Sometimes, often, they treat me like shit like I don't matter.  They keep flaring up if they see I was really upset inside when I posted something and have to "tell" to everyone, and I'm always in trouble.

Ellen DeGeneres posted something related to death secretly and I've felt hurt like I almost died.  I don't see how that's cute and funny, but she seemed to want it to be, maybe cuz I didn't die.  She thinks I should be in trouble mainly cuz I cursed on my blog about hurtful, illegal noises that were in my room for a long time that she supposedly had put there.  I still suffer things like this.

I'm tired of the bad news that I see people with deep-seated issues with me, that I did something and am in trouble and it affects me and like I have to fix something or they don't care.  I don't endorse those people.

Problem

All these old relationships are fighting for the one I have now.

Problem

Since I was interested in adding to my relationships, this relationship scared away another one when I was, like, thru.

I'm not

really enjoying these people.

They keep pretending what I think is wrong.

Problem

The people monitoring me in private are bringing me down and seem to be listening to someone, being mean to me for them.